2.11.2014

Women Shaming Other Women, and Why It Needs to Stop

I could probably write a really long post about this, but I want to keep it somewhat short and simple. And the solution to women shaming other women is simple too. Just stop doing it!

In a world where a lot of things try to bring us down, women hating on other women should NOT be one of those things.  And in this so called "tight-knit" blogging community, it happens way too often.  Women shouldn't be shamed for not wanting kids, or wanting a career for herself. Women shouldn't be shamed for wanting to give 100% of their time to their family and stay home. And women who fall somewhere in the middle, shouldn't be shamed either.  Why do we feel we have the right to tell other people what's more important and what they should do? There is no right or wrong answer here, and there shouldn't be. We, as women, have a choice. And to me, that's what feminism should be about.. Not shaming someone for choosing a different path.

Another big thing women look down on other women for is, changing or not changing their last name. By keeping your last name, it doesn't mean you love your husband any less, or that your marriage means any less. And just because you take your husband's last name doesn't mean your being submissive, or saying he owns you. I chose to keep my last name, and I'm happy with my decision. But that doesn't mean I think every woman should do that, or that I look at them any differently because they made a different choice. I don't understand why we need to say such mean and hurtful things because someone else chose to do something different.

There are so many other examples and situations where this happens. Feminism and equal rights mean we all have a choice in what path our lives take and decisions we make. As women let's stop shaming each other and tearing people down, and instead, we need to support and lift each other up..



#endrant

3 comments:

  1. PREACH!!! I love this! I've written some similar things on our blog about choice in taking (or not taking) my husband's last name: http://www.theflorkens.com/2013/10/why-i-didnt-take-adams-last-name.html

    I totally agree. I want to be a working mom (eventually) and I hate to be told that my children are going to "suffer" because I work. I would never tell a stay a home mom something so mean. Similarly, I don't judge them for wanting to stay home with kids... Just because it is a decision I wouldn't make doesn't mean it is wrong. Thank you for reminding us all of that fact!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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  2. Love this post! I think women do this because we second guess and judge ourselves for not knowing what the right choice is that we seek validation for what we decide. I am a working mother so when I talk to a stay at home mom and they look down on me for going to work it hurts because I already feel bad for sending my son to daycare and for also wanting to work outside the home. It is difficult for women because we face so many choices that are open to judgement. It is like it is okay and perfectly acceptable for other women to do what they will with your personal choice. Also, each of these major decisions are not made lightly so we are going to be nervous about whether we made the right decision which makes us open to listen to other people's thoughts as ridicule. Being a woman can really suck! I ended up changing my last name because I had a son. If I had not gotten pregnant I would have kept my name until we had children.

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  3. I can only say one word: LOVE!! I love this post dear and I cannot agree more. I didn't take my husbands last name because of personal reasons (my dad passed away a year before our wedding and I just couldn't let go) and my husband understands this but I always get the response "so you think you too good to take his name?" or "you are a feminist?" from women. Hurts every time that women are the ones who keep shaming others.

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